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Twas the Night Before Civil War…

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Pardon the occasional disdain for a metered poem, I humbly submit these words for you to read in your home.


Twas the night before Civil War, when all through the state
Not a Duck was worried, for they knew their fate.
The rankings were in, penciled with great care,
In hopes that the BCS would soon be there.

Duck fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Glendale danced in their heads.
With coaches done planning, Kelly in his visor
Had settled his mind, knowing he’d be the wiser.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Coach sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

There on the lawn stood Beavers, a hundred and one.
Kelly confused, he wondered hasn’t the day been won?
He looked to the front, when what should appear,
A gee-golly, aw-schucks former coach of the year.

With a little old team, smiling so shyly,
Coach knew in a moment, it must be Mike Riley.
Looking forlorn, Mike summoned his heroes of the game
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.

Now Rodgers! now, Catchings! now, Stephen and Wheaton!
On, Miller! On, Pankey! on, on Ryan and Jordan!
You see this here team? We deny you your bowl!
Now dash away! Dash away hopes of your goal!

The OSU team brings a sweep that is fly
But are wary an obstacle all too sly.
Up to the house with his team they flew,
Hoping to accomplish what, only Riley knew.

And then, in a twinkling, Kelly heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each cleeted hoof.
As he drew in his head and was turning around,
Down the chimney Coach Riley came with a bound.

He was dressed like a hobo, from his head to his foot,
His clothes all tarnished with orange and black soot.
A bundle of wishes he had put in his pocket,
And he looked like a begger, ready to say fock it.

He spoke plenty a word, but got to the matter.
Coach, we haven’t a chance, our dreams did shatter.
And falling down to his knees, Riley did plea,
Forfeit is our only hope, don’t you agree?

Chip sprang to his side, gave him a pat and said,
My downtrodden foe, you have much to dread.
All who were there heard Kelly loudly exclaim,
Little Beaver, you’ve no shot in this Civil game.

Riley’s eyes, how they watered! his frown none too merry!
Worried was he to have no bowl, oh how scary!
Chip gave a smirk and yelled while dimming the light,
There good sir is the door and to you a good night!


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